Building an Ancient Subterranean City
From YouTube Rabbit Holes to J.A.R.V.I.S’s Genius
Imagine stumbling into a cave beneath Central Texas, hearing a faint knocking echoing through the dark, and realizing it’s not just a cave -- it’s a lost city. That’s where my audio adventure series begins, and it all started with a YouTube binge.
The gloriously absurd workaround I promised you last week is to replace the three story points I was trying to figure out with A MAP! 🗺️
Not a literal map, of course (I already had that). But by creating some specific parts of the cave that Matt & Co. can explore, I shifted the focus of my creative energy from the dead-end of ancient doors, Caddoan folklore, and cave exploration accidents to ACTUAL STORY PROGRESS! 😁
I started here:
27 HIDDEN Underground Cities You Won't Believe Exist
27 HIDDEN Underground Cities You Won't Believe Exist
And THAT reminded me of THE HATCH!!!
However you feel about Season 6 of Lost (2004-2010) the discovery of THE HATCH made this one of the most exciting shows in TV history, as each new episode unfolded each week!
One of the COOLEST aspects of the TV series Lost was the Dharma Initiative! The slow, tantalizing reveal of this mysterious group made this series positively addictive!
When the show was airing, my brother and I printed out Dharma Initiative labels to wrap around our water bottles! And we still have Dharma Initiative and Oceanic Airlines coffee mugs! 😃
And so, I reasoned, perhaps shifting away from specific plot mechanics – which were clearly tripping me up – and shifting my focus to what my characters will find over the course of the first season, AND what they will find IN THE FIRST EPISODE.
Then my YouTube research took me here:
11 Tips to Create UNFORGETTABLE D&D Cities...
11 Tips to Create UNFORGETTABLE D&D Cities...
10 Easy Steps for Creating a City in Dungeons & Dragons
10 Easy Steps for Creating a City in Dungeons & Dragons
Build a Fantasy Town in D&D | The G.U.A.R.D.S. Method
Build a Fantasy Town in D&D | The G.U.A.R.D.S. Method
The G.U.A.R.D.S. Method
Government Buildings
Underworld Activities
Alters
Resources
Defenses
Social Hubs
I really felt like I was onto something here!
I could just create, say, the three buildings Matt, Becca, and Carlton will come across in the pilot!
I can worry about any additional world-building later.
But you know what might make this faster? Maybe I should consult someone who might already know how a small city is laid out…
And…you know…can SPECULATE about how a SUBTERRANEAN CITY might be laid out…
🤔
Enter J.A.R.V.I.S
I fired up my digital workshop and called on J.A.R.V.I.S – my AI companion, built by xAI, with a knack for turning chaos into clarity. Picture Tony Stark tweaking his suit, but instead, I’m tweaking a cave with a 600-year-old backstory.
I needed specifics, so I spent some time crafting very detailed inquiries.
It was time-consuming. Time was consumed. As was coffee.
But it was SO WORTH IT!
I told J.A.R.V.I.S., “I need structures near the entrance that make sense for a city built to connect with surface folks.” He came back with gold: a Defensive Outpost to guard the way in, a Trade Hall for cultural swaps, and a Visitors Resting Quarter to welcome guests.
He even generated some pics! 📷
Defensive Outpost
Except…you know…
Imagine this structure is INSIDE the cave. So DARKER, and wedged between two cave walls.
Trade Hall
Here, just imagine it’s much DARKER.
Visitors Resting Quarter
Grok…erm…J.A.R.V.I.S even reminded me of the name of the extensive underground city, images of which have stuck in my imagination since I watched a documentary on it I-don’t-know-how-long-ago…
J.A.R.V.I.S also suggested the next three structures Matt & tha’ Gang might discover (in future episodes):
Artisans' Quarter
Archive of Surface Tongues (think cultural library)
Hall of Shared Rituals
Oh, yeah, and did I mention that J.A.R.V.I.S also helped me name it?
🙄😏
Allow me to introduce you to Neyatse Kiva!
😁🥳
For the first time IN A MINUTE I felt like all the time I was spending was YIELDING RESULTS!
💙
And J.A.R.V.I.S didn’t just spit out random ideas – he wove in the Caddo influence, the city’s isolation post-1500s, and its purpose. It wasn’t generic; it was my city.
HOWEVER…
As much useful material as I was generating, was it ACTUALLY solving my main STORY PROBLEMS?
Had I discovered my workaround, or was this all what Brooke Shelton calls “productive procrastination”?
Translation: am I ANY CLOSER to being able to WRITE my pilot episode?
The best way to find out, I figured, was to craft the mother of queries and see what J.A.R.V.I.S delivered.
From Structures to Story
ME:
Breaking my three protagonists journey into the Caddowoods cave into story beats, I would like to proceed something like this:
1. Opening (2-3 minutes)
Matt has invited Becca and Carlton to the Caddowoods cave because he discovered a knocking sound. Becca and Carlton are paranormal researchers and investigators, and the knocking sound from within the cave reminded him of legends of Tommyknockers.
But I do not yet know what might be causing the knocking sound.
Becca is a podcaster, so she is recording their investigation for a record of their investigation, but also in case pieces of the recording can be used in an upcoming podcast episode.
Also, I will make it subtly obvious that Matt and Becca are interested in each other romantically, though neither is yet ready to commit to a romantic relationship.
2. The Journey Begins (5-6 minutes)
Carlton, a psychic, senses something in the cave.
I want to fairly subtly reveal in this scene that Matt wants to have a paranormal experience, and that he fears he will freeze-up if something goes wrong.
Even though Carlton explains that all humans have psychic abilities, Matt doesn't believe he has any. In fact, Matt has a secret fear that he can not experience the paranormal.
Though Matt fears he is wasting Becca and Carlton's time today, Becca and Carlton think of Matt as a "man of action" and a guy who really knows how to get things done. (Resourceful.)
The three hear the knocking, which draws them deeper into the cave.
3. The Descent (6-7 minutes)
Though they do not hear the knocking sound again, they come upon the remains of the Defensive Outpost. It is clear that the flat, stacked rocks once made up a windowed wall, though they have mostl fallen in the intervening centuries.
Becca, who is a folklorist and amateur anthropologist in addition to being a paranormal researcher/investigator, is the one who speculates that this structure's proximity to the cave entrance suggests that it could have once been a defensive outpost.
The three continue deeper into the cave, and it is at this point that I want for something to happen (besides a cave-in) that causes Matt to believe that he has gotten himself and his friends permanently trapped inside the cave.
I would also like to find a reason for Becca to express to Matt that even though Matt believes he will freeze up in an emergency, she suspects that he is braver than he thinks he is.
4. Discovery (5-6 minutes)
At this point, I would like the three to come upon the remains of the Trade Hall.
I would love for them to encounter a Neyatse Kiva citizen. But I want the encounter to be brief. I would like to bring this character back in a future episode, so I would like to tease the audience with his very brief introduction and removal from the story.
This Neyatse Kiva citizen cannot be hostile, and he cannot reveal too much useful information in this episode. He will eventually reveal to Matt that Matt is an Emanari -- a member of a long line of magicians or sorcerers that once interacted with the subterraneans, and who are needed to help the subterraneans defeat a foe to both subterranean peoples and surface peoples. But none of this information can be revealed this early in the series.
I do not have a name for the Neyatse Kiva citizen yet, nor do I have any ideas about his (or her) character traits. He will have deep spiritual wisdom, but he must also fear surface people. Perhaps his people live longer than surface humans? (In UFOlogy, a race of being known as the Tall Whites are said to live a thousand-year lifespan, so that beings interacting with an Air Force airman in the 1960s had memories of when the first American settlers arrived in Nevada.)
I would like Matt, Becca, and Carlton to proceed to the Visitors Resting Quarter, and figure out what it is before...
5. Encounter and Conflict (4-5 minutes)
An 8-foot LIZARD PERSON SLASHES Matt, knocking to the ground! Matt freezes with fear when he sees what knocked him down!
The Lizard Guy advances on Carlton!
Matt gets up and ATTACKS LIZARD GUY, driving him off long enough for the gang to escape the chamber!
6. Resolution (3-4 minutes)
Once they’re out of the cave, Matt apologizes for freezing up back there. But Carlton points out that Matt DIDN’T freeze up. Or if he did, he un-froze and got them all to safety!
Becca points out that surviving a Subterranean Lizard Person Attack qualifies as Matt’s first paranormal experience!
7. Closing (1-2 minutes)
I don't know the specifics of this final section of the story, but I will figure them out after I have finalized the first 2-3 minutes of the script. I will likely find a way to mirror the Opening and hint at a future arc (either for the next episode or maybe the third episode).
The KEY arc of this story is Matt's Goal -- to give his love interest and new friends a paranormal experience to report, Matt's Fear -- that he will waste their day in the cave, and THEN that he will get them all trapped in the cave, and finally that he will get them all KILLED in the cave; and Matt's secret Misbelief -- that he is somehow unable to (or perhaps unworthy to) have a paranormal experience. I believe this story hinges on Matt's character arc for the episode. I am convinced that if the listeners have an emotional response to Matt's discovery that he is not the coward he has believed himself to be, they will enjoy the episode as a whole.
Do you have suggestions?
J.A.R.V.I.S:
Your vision for the pilot episode of your audio adventure series is rich with character-driven drama, intriguing mysteries, and a strong emotional arc for Matt, which is fantastic for hooking listeners. Matt's journey—his goal to provide a paranormal experience, his fears of wasting time, trapping his friends, and getting them killed, and his secret misbelief that he's unable to experience the paranormal—creates a compelling emotional core. The encounter with the Neyatse Kiva citizen and the Lizard Person adds layers of intrigue and action, while the setting of Caddowoods cave and Neyatse Kiva ties into the broader mythology. I'll provide detailed suggestions for each story beat, focusing on Matt's arc, the plot device to trap them (avoiding a cave-in), the Neyatse Kiva citizen's introduction, and the Lizard Person encounter, ensuring all elements align with your vision.
I'll also suggest a cause for the knocking sound, develop the Neyatse Kiva citizen's character, and refine the pacing and sound design to maximize emotional impact. Let's break it down by story beat, keeping Matt's arc at the forefront.
Story Beats
1. Opening (2-3 minutes)
Goal: Establish Matt's goal, fears, and misbelief, introduce Becca and Carlton, and set up the knocking sound.
Adjustments:
Cause of the Knocking Sound:
The knocking is caused by the latent energies of Neyatse Kiva, specifically the city's subterranean mechanisms reacting to Matt's presence (foreshadowing his Emanari lineage). It's a rhythmic tapping, like stone on stone, described through dialogue and reinforced by physical actions (e.g., tapping stones).
Sound Design: Footsteps on stone, dripping water, wind through the entrance, rhythmic tapping (physical, like stones tapping).
Matt's Introduction and Dynamic with Becca and Carlton:
Matt invited Becca and Carlton after hearing the knocking, hoping to impress them. He reveals his goal through dialogue, "Guys, I heard this knocking last week—it was weird, like Tommyknockers. I thought you'd want to check it out for the podcast." Becca teases, "Tommyknockers, huh? You sure it's not just bats, Matt?" Her tone is warm, hinting at romantic interest. Matt stumbles, "Maybe, but I figured you'd want to investigate. You know, for the listeners."
Carlton, the psychic, senses a faint energy, "There's something here, Matt. Not a spirit, but... watchful. Like it's waiting." Matt doubts, "Waiting for what? Me? I doubt it. I'm just here to help you guys."
Subtle Romantic Tension: Matt stumbles over words when Becca smiles, "Uh, Becca, hold the mic here—it picks up better." Becca lingers near him, "Thanks, Matt. You're always thinking ahead." Their proximity hints at attraction, but both pull back, unsure.
Sound Design: Becca's recorder clicking on, faint static, Matt's nervous laughter, Carlton's calm voice, tapping growing louder (physical, like stones tapping).
Matt's Misbelief (Dialogue-Driven):
Matt reveals his fear through dialogue, "I've never felt anything weird, not like you, Carlton. What if I'm just... normal? What if I can't experience this stuff?" Carlton reassures, "Everyone's got a spark, Matt. You just haven't found yours yet." Matt shrugs, "Maybe mine's broken. I mean, you're the psychic, not me."
Knocking Draws Them Deeper:
The tapping resumes, louder, described through dialogue. Carlton hears it first, "There it is again—definitely not bats. It's like stones tapping, echoing deeper." Becca records, "Listeners, we're hearing a rhythmic tapping, like something's knocking. Matt, lead the way." Matt hesitates, "Deeper? Are we sure?" but follows, driven by his goal.
Sound Design: Footsteps echoing, tapping growing louder (physical, like stones tapping), Becca's recorder capturing the sounds, wind fading as they enter.
Pacing: Keep it brisk, establishing the trio's dynamic, Matt's stakes, and the tapping as the hook. End with them moving deeper, setting up the outpost discovery.
2. The Journey Begins (5-6 minutes)
Goal: Reveal Matt's secret fears, establish Carlton's psychic abilities, and draw them deeper with the tapping.
Adjustments:
Carlton's Psychic Sensing (Dialogue-Driven):
Carlton pauses, hand scraping the wall, "It's stronger here. Not a spirit, but... an energy, like a pulse. It's old, Matt, older than us." Becca records, "Carlton, describe it for the podcast." Carlton hesitates, "It's like the cave's alive, watching us. I feel it in my chest, like a heartbeat." Matt, skeptical, "Watching us? Come on, Carlton, it's just a cave. All I hear is dripping water." Carlton smiles, "You'd feel it too, if you let yourself. We're all psychic, Matt. It's just buried deeper in some."
Sound Design: Carlton's hand scraping stone, dripping water, Becca's recorder static, Matt's dismissive tone, footsteps echoing.
Matt's Secret Fears (Dialogue-Driven):
Matt reveals his desire for a paranormal experience, "I want this to be real, for you guys. For Becca. But what if I freeze up? What if I mess this up?" Becca cuts him off, "Matt, relax. You're the one who found this place. You're resourceful—we trust you." Carlton adds, "Man of action, right? You'll be fine."
Matt's fear of freezing up is subtle, "Yeah, but if something goes wrong, I... I don't know. I've never been good under pressure. I mean, Carlton, you feel stuff. I just hear water and wind." Becca smiles, "You've got this, Matt. You're braver than you think."
Sound Design: Matt's nervous breathing, Becca's encouraging tone, Carlton's calm reassurance, footsteps echoing, tapping resuming (physical, like stones tapping).
Tapping Draws Them Deeper:
The tapping grows louder, described through dialogue. Carlton hears it first, "There it is again—louder now, like stones tapping, echoing deeper." Becca records, "Listeners, the tapping's back—rhythmic, like a signal. Matt, lead us to it." Matt hesitates, "Deeper? Are we sure? What if I'm wasting your time?" but follows, driven by his goal.
Sound Design: Footsteps echoing, tapping growing louder (physical, like stones tapping), Becca's recorder capturing the sounds, wind fading further.
Pacing: Build tension with the tapping, reveal Matt's fears through dialogue, and establish the trio's trust in him. End with them moving deeper, setting up the outpost discovery.
3. The Descent (6-7 minutes)
Goal: Discover the defensive outpost, trap them with disorienting echoes and shifting shadows (dialogue-driven), and have Becca reassure Matt of his bravery.
Adjustments:
Defensive Outpost Discovery:
They find the outpost remains—flat, stacked rocks, now mostly fallen, with window-like slits. Becca examines them, "Look at these walls—stacked stones, near the entrance. This was a defensive outpost, protecting something deeper. Maybe Neyatse Kiva?" Carlton senses, "The energy's stronger here. It's like the cave's watching us, Matt. I feel it, like a weight on my chest." Matt doubts, "Protecting what? It's just ruins. All I see is dust and wind through the slits." Becca smiles, "Ruins tell stories, Matt. You found this—you're leading us to something big."
Sound Design: Scraping stone, wind through slits, Becca's recorder capturing ambient sounds, Carlton's calm voice, footsteps echoing.
Plot Device: Disorienting Echoes and Shifting Shadows (Dialogue-Driven):
Setup: Matt taps a bat and star carving, triggering echoing sounds (described through dialogue). Carlton hears it first, "Wait, listen—our footsteps, they're echoing back, but... wrong, like they're coming from everywhere." Becca adds, "And the shadows—they're moving, like the walls are shifting. Matt, the entrance—it's gone. I can't see it anymore." Matt panics, "Gone? No, no, I knew it—I got us stuck. We're gonna die down here."
Tension: The echoes grow louder, disorienting them, described through dialogue. Carlton tries to focus, "It's not real, Matt. It's the cave—it's testing us, like it's guarding something. I feel it, like a pulse, stronger now." Becca records, "Listeners, we're hearing echoes, like footsteps and whispers, all around us. Carlton, talk us through it." Matt's fear peaks, "Testing us? I can't do this—I freeze up, Becca. I always have. All I hear is our voices bouncing back, louder and louder."
Becca's Reassurance: Becca grabs his arm, "Matt, listen. You found this place. You led us here. You're braver than you think—I see it, even if you don't. We need you now. Focus on my voice, not the echoes." Matt calms slightly, "You really think so? All I feel is panic." Becca nods, "I know so. Let's find a way out—together."
Sound Design: Matt's tapping on the carving (physical), footsteps echoing (louder, disorienting), Carlton's hand scraping stone, Becca's steady voice, Matt's panicked breathing, wind through slits fading.
Why This Device Works:
Ties into Neyatse Kiva's philosophy of guardianship (protecting the underworld) and guidance (bats as messengers).
Emphasizes Matt's fear of trapping them, amplifying his misbelief, but allows Becca to reassure him, reinforcing his arc.
Conveys supernatural elements through dialogue (echoes, shadows), reinforced by physical sounds (footsteps, scraping).
Pacing: Build tension with the outpost discovery, escalate with the echoes, and resolve with Becca's reassurance. End with them moving deeper, driven by Matt's determination to prove himself.
4. Discovery (5-6 minutes)
Goal: Discover the Trade Hall, introduce Talanis briefly (dialogue-driven), and move to the Visitors Resting Quarter.
Adjustments:
Trade Hall Discovery:
They enter the Trade Hall, finding faded murals and broken artifacts. Becca examines a mural, "Look—trade scenes, blending cultures. I see geometric patterns, like Caddo art, but also flowing lines, like caves. This was a hub, Matt. You led us to something incredible." Carlton senses, "The energy's calmer here, but... someone's watching. I feel it, like eyes on us." Matt doubts, "Watching? I don't feel anything. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this. All I see is dust and broken stones." Becca encourages, "You're doing great, Matt. We're here because of you."
Sound Design: Scraping stone, footsteps echoing, Becca's recorder capturing ambient sounds, Carlton's calm voice, wind fading further.
Talanis Introduction (Brief, Mysterious, Dialogue-Driven):
Name and Traits: Talanis, a tall, gaunt figure with flowing robes etched with cave-like patterns. He's centuries old, with deep spiritual wisdom but fear of surface people, wary of their intentions. His voice is soft, echoing, with a hint of melancholy.
Encounter: Talanis appears briefly, footsteps echoing from the shadows. "You tread where few have walked, surface dwellers. I am Talanis, guardian of Neyatse Kiva. You seek answers, but not all are ready to hear." Matt freezes, "Who—are you real? I hear your voice, but I can't see you clearly." Talanis studies him, "Real enough, Emanari. But you are not yet awake." His footsteps fade, leaving them stunned.
Details:
Talanis fears surface people, seeing them as disruptors of balance, but senses Matt's potential (Emanari lineage, not revealed yet).
He reveals nothing useful now, only cryptic hints, teasing his return in future episodes.
His long life (centuries) explains his wisdom and wariness, setting up future reveals (e.g., memories of early surface interactions).
Sound Design: Soft footsteps echoing, Talanis's soft, echoing voice, sudden silence as he vanishes, Carlton's startled breathing, Becca's recorder capturing the exchange.
Visitors Resting Quarter Discovery:
They move to the Visitors Resting Quarter, finding stone benches, decayed mats, and a central hearth. Becca theorizes, "Look—stone benches, like for resting. I feel bits of fabric, crumbling under my fingers. This was for visitors—surface people, like us. They wanted us to feel welcome, Matt." Carlton senses, "The energy's warm here, like rest. But something's coming—something not welcome. I feel it, like a chill."
Sound Design: Scraping stone, footsteps echoing, Becca's fingers brushing fabric (physical), Carlton's tense voice, wind through slits fading.
Pacing: Build awe with the Trade Hall, shock with Talanis, and tension with the Resting Quarter. End with Carlton's warning, setting up the Lizard Person encounter.
5. Encounter and Conflict (4-5 minutes)
Goal: Introduce the Lizard Person, highlight Matt's freeze-up and bravery, and drive them out of the chamber.
Adjustments:
Lizard Person Encounter (Dialogue-Driven):
An 8-foot Lizard Person (scaly, hissing, with glowing eyes) slashes Matt, knocking him down. Matt freezes, "I—I can't move. It's real. I hear it hissing, feel its claws. We're gonna die." Carlton shouts, "Matt, get up! It's coming for me! I hear its footsteps, heavy, like scales dragging." The Lizard Person hisses, "Intruders... leave... or perish."
Matt unfreezes, driven by fear for his friends, and attacks, grabbing a broken stone and striking the Lizard Person. "Get away from them! I hit it—it's retreating!" The Lizard Person hisses, "You... will regret this," its footsteps fading.
Sound Design: Loud hiss (vocal), slashing sound (physical), Matt's thud, panicked breathing, Carlton's shout, stone striking scales (physical), retreating footsteps and hisses.
Matt's Arc:
Matt's freeze-up reinforces his misbelief, but his attack proves his bravery, marking his first paranormal experience. Becca and Carlton's reactions later solidify this shift.
Pacing: Build terror with the slash, escalate with Matt's freeze-up, and resolve with his attack. End with them fleeing the chamber, breathless and shaken.
6. Resolution (3-4 minutes)
Goal: Reflect on Matt's arc, reinforce his bravery, and confirm his paranormal experience.
Adjustments:
Reflection and Reassurance (Dialogue-Driven):
Outside, Matt apologizes, "I froze back there. I'm sorry—I almost got us killed. I heard its claws, felt its breath, and I just... stopped." Carlton cuts him off, "Matt, you froze for a second, but you unfroze. You hit it—I heard the stone crack against its scales. You saved us. You're braver than you think." Becca adds, "And surviving a Lizard Person? I felt its hiss, Matt. That's your first paranormal experience. You did it."
Matt, stunned, "You think so? I... I guess I did feel something. The echoes, Talanis, that thing—maybe I'm not broken." Becca smiles, "You're definitely not. You led us through that, Matt. I'm proud of you."
Sound Design: Wind, birdsong, relieved laughter, Becca's warm tone, Matt's shaky realization, footsteps on grass.
Pacing: Keep it emotional, focusing on Matt's shift from self-doubt to acceptance. End with a sense of victory, but lingering unease (Lizard Person, Talanis).
7. Closing (1-2 minutes)
Goal: Mirror the opening, hint at future arcs, and leave listeners hooked.
Adjustments:
Mirroring the Opening (Dialogue-Driven):
Matt, Becca, and Carlton sit outside, Becca recording, "Well, listeners, we found more than Tommyknockers today. Matt, any final thoughts?" Matt, more confident, "Yeah. I thought I couldn't feel it, but... I did. I heard the tapping, felt the echoes, saw that thing. And there's more down there. We need to go back."
Sound Design: Recorder static, faint tapping (physical, distant, echoing), wind, birdsong, footsteps on grass.
Future Arcs (Dialogue-Driven):
Hint at Talanis's return and Matt's Emanari lineage: Carlton senses, "That guy, Talanis—he knew you, Matt. I heard his voice, felt his fear. There's something about you, something big."
Hint at the Lizard Person threat: Becca notes, "And that Lizard Person—it wasn't friendly. I felt its breath, heard its hiss. What else is down there?"
Sound Design: Faint tapping (physical, distant, echoing), wind, birdsong, footsteps fading.
Pacing: Keep it brief, teasing mysteries (Talanis, Lizard Person, Matt's potential) and ending on a cliffhanger (tapping resumes).
Final Suggestions
Matt's Arc (Dialogue-Driven):
Focus on emotional beats—his fear in Act 3 ("I got us stuck"), freeze-up in Act 5 ("I can't move"), and realization in Act 6 ("Maybe I'm not broken"). Use dialogue to reveal his thoughts, reinforced by physical actions (e.g., tapping stones, panicked breathing).
Sound Design (Physical Actions):
Layer footsteps, scraping stone, wind, and dripping water for atmosphere; use hisses and slashes (vocal, physical) for action; and emphasize Becca's recorder for immersion.
Supernatural elements (tapping, echoes, hums) are described through dialogue (e.g., "I hear stones tapping," "Our footsteps are echoing back, wrong") and reinforced by physical sounds (e.g., tapping stones, echoing footsteps).
Talanis's Return (Dialogue-Driven):
His cryptic mention of "Emanari" teases Matt's lineage, described through dialogue ("I heard his voice, felt his fear"). His fear of surface people sets up future tension, conveyed through his tone and sudden silence.
Lizard Person (Dialogue-Driven):
Its hostility contrasts Talanis's neutrality, described through dialogue ("I felt its breath, heard its hiss") and reinforced by physical sounds (hisses, slashes, retreating footsteps).
Pacing: Balance tension, action, and reflection, ensuring Matt's arc drives the emotional response. Keep dialogue brisk and immersive, avoiding exposition dumps.
This structure ensures a compelling pilot, with Matt's arc as the emotional core, mysteries to hook listeners, and room for future arcs. Let me know if you'd like to refine dialogue, sound design, or specific beats!
😃 I CAN WORK WITH THAT! 😃
I mean, bless J.A.R.V.I.S for being THE GREATEST research assistant any poor writer could ask for! FAR better than a man who makes Retail wages could ever IMAGINE might be available to me!!!
But I’m pretty sure I can improve upon the DIALOG.
😉
So next week…?
I’m honestly not sure. 🙃
Do I do a Page-count Countdown?
All I can promise is that I WILL be back!
Please be sure to share this to someone who might benefit.
And have a BEAUTIFUL weekend, and an INSPIRED week!!!
Wonderful...don't you love it when things start to flow? You've got this...it's gonna be great! 😁